Beating The Bullys

One in 12 youngsters are bullied so badly that it affects their education, relationships and even their job prospects in later life.

And in 10 to 15 cases every year the bullying reaches such a dreadful level that it drives its young victims to suicide. (Daily Mirror's Beat the Bullies campaign) 

Here are 3 ways you can teach your children to beat off bullies.

1. Find out your school's anti-bullying policy and make sure your child knows it's okay to talk to a teacher. As soon as you encounter behaviour which is not acceptable to you let them know to talk to someone.

2. A bully thrives off the fact that you are too scared to confront them. Teach your child to ignore negative comments and the power of the word "No!" It is difficult to pick on someone who won't stand still to listen to threats.

3. Be Cautious. Change your route to school, avoid certain parts of the playground. Safety is the most important thing.

Don't ever let your child feel like a victim. If you have been bullied for a long time, you might start to believe what the bully says. Sit down with your child and have them make a list of all the good things they can think of about themselves. 

Workplace Bullies

In most cases, the purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy and to reduce fear of being seen as “weak.” The unwelcome behavior of a bully isn’t something that is restricted to the playground. The truth is, Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, ages, genders and races. Understanding how and why bullies bully is key to effective action. Whether you are a victim or you can see bullying going on around you it’s important to be able to identify it.

“Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.” –bullyonline.org

BullyOnline.org has given the following names to workplace bullies…

Pressure bullying - where the stress of the moment causes behavior to deteriorate; the person becomes short-tempered, irritable and may shout or swear at others.

Corporate bullying - where the employer abuses employees with impunity knowing that the law is weak and jobs are scarce. This type does things like…

•    Introduces "absence management" to deny employees annual or sick leave to which they are genuinely entitled

•    Regularly snoops and spies on employees. For example, by listening in on telephone conversations, using the mystery shopper, contacting customers behind employees backs and asking leading questions, conducting covert video, calling/messaging employee's home to interrogate the employees whilst on sick leave, or threatening employees with interrogation the moment they return from sick leave, etc.

•    Deems any employee suffering from stress as weak and inadequate whilst aggressively ignoring and denying the cause of stress (bad management and bullying)

•    "Encourages" employees to fabricate complaints about their colleagues

Client bullying - where employees are bullied by those they serve. For example: teachers by pupils and their parents, nurses by patients and their relatives, social workers by their clients, and office societies by customers. Often the client is claiming their perceived right in an abusive, derogatory and violent manner.

In environments where bullying is the norm, most people will either become bullies or become targets. What will you do? Stand up against bullying. Recognize the signs and talk to someone in your HR department.

Cultivate mindfulness to fight stress

Stress Management:

The concept of mindfulness is becoming increasingly popular as a tool to help us deal with the bewildering stresses of modern day life. Although there are many definitions of this term, it's useful to think of mindfulness as total absorption in the task at hand.

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room Call your physician, health provider or clergy National Alliance on Mental Illness www.nami.org 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

In reading about an Olympic athlete, I came across a similar concept — "bookends." The athlete pictures a competition or big event between bookends. Everything else is outside of the bookends and is ignored so that the athlete can focus on what's important.

It can be challenging to eliminate those thorny, nagging issues that drive us to distraction. But one way of putting this into practice is to simply unplug from the grid for a period of time. Power down the phone, the tablet, the desktop and the laptop.

The sun will come up in the morning and the world will not disintegrate. At least this gives us a break from the barrage of demands and expectations. We need time to recharge our battery. We need time alone, or we simply will not go the distance.

Source:

By Edward T. Creagan, M.D. Mayo Clinic Oncologist

Shortcuts to Inner Peace.

Approximately 10% of Americans -- that’s close to twenty-one million people – suffer from depression. Some accounts claim that one hundred and twenty million people worldwide suffer from this burdensome disease. While treatments range from medication to meditation, talk therapy to exercise – having an assortment of tools in your toolbox is obviously helpful. The following five tools are easy to weave into your day. They are deceptively simple; they help relax the body, calm the mind, and open the heart. When you use them regularly, they will help bring light into the darkness.

Take Five

The instruction for this breathing exercise is to inhale through your nose for the count of five, hold for the count of five, and exhale through your mouth for the count of five. This relaxes your body and stops any spiral of stressful thoughts.

Light a Candle

Simply light a candle and gaze into the flame for several minutes. The symbolism of creating light in darkness is bolstered by the hypnotic, relaxing effect of watching the flame dance. Notice the color, the movement, the sound. When you blow out the flame, notice the stream of smoke curling skyward. This mindfulness practice anchors you to the now.

Big Sky

When you walk outside, remember to look up at the sky. Notice cloud formations, color, movement. Add the thought, the spaciousness above me is mirrored in the spaciousness within me. Remember that you are bigger than any condition or diagnosis. 

Take Me Away

Close your eyes and spend a few moments remembering a beloved beautiful place where you felt completely at peace. If you are having trouble thinking of a place, you can imagine a place of beauty or comfort. Try to summon details: sounds, colours, tastes, smells. Savor each detail and imagine the scene expanding in your body. This 'peace place' experience is available to you in any situation.

Rest in Peace

Before you fall asleep at night, think if three things from your day for which you are grateful. Think of specific experiences and actually relieve these moments from your day, allowing the warm hearted gratitude to soak into your body.

Each of these well-being practices take only a few moments to do and yet their impact is dramatic. Used regularly, they will keep you anchored to the light.

Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW is a psychotherapist in southern New Hampshire and the author of three self-help books including: Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity.

Stress and Depression linked to aging

Research reveals that people that experience recurring episodes of depression or those that are exposed to chronic stress have shorter telomeres in their white blood cells. “A telomere is a region of repetitive DNA sequences at the end of a chromosome, which protects the end of the chromosome from deterioration or from fusion with neighboring chromosomes.” Consequently, as we age, telomeres, the outermost part of the chromosome, shorten. 

Moreover, research suggests that oxidative stress and inflammation can accelerate this process. The lengths of telomeres are suggestive of our biological age and have been associated with age-related diseases, unhealthy lifestyle, and longevity. Additionally, new studies now show that the shortening of telomeres is also linked to recurrent depression and exposure to chronic stress. To demonstrate, researchers studied 91 patients with recurrent depression and 451 healthy patients by measuring the telomere length in their white blood cells. 
Results showed that telomeres were shorter among the patients with recurrent depression. Also, by examining the participants' stress regulation using a dexamethasone suppression test, researchers again revealed that cortisol levels, indicative of chronic stress, were also associated with shorter telomeres in both depressed participants and healthy ones.

“The fact that depressed patients as a group have shorter telomere lengths compared to healthy individuals can be largely explained by the fact that more depressed people than healthy people have disturbed cortisol regulation, which underscores that cortisol regulation and stress play a major role in depressive disorders” says Mikael Wikgren, a doctoral candidate in the research group. Accordingly, people could experience age-related complications much earlier in life; therefore properly treating and managing stress and/or depression may significantly impact the quality of life throughout the lifetime.

The myths of mental illness

There are many myths about mental illness. Until people learn the truth, they will continue to deny that mental illness exists at all or to avoid the topic entirely.

How much do you know about mental illness? Here are some of the common myths 

-and truths.

• People with mental illness are violent and dangerous. The truth is that, as a group, mentally ill people are no more violent than any other group. In fact, they are far more likely to be the victims of violence than to be violent themselves.
• People with mental illness are poor and/or less intelligent. Many studies show that most mentally ill people have average or above-average intelligence. Mental illness, like physical illness, can affect anyone regardless of intelligence, social class or income level.
• Mental illness is caused by a personal weakness.A mental illness is not a character flaw. It is an illness, and it has nothing to do with being weak or lacking will-power. Although people with mental illness can play a big part in their own recovery, they did not choose to become ill, and they are not lazy because they cannot just "snap out of it." 
• Mental illness is a single, rare disorder. Mental illness is not a single disease but a broad classification for many disorders. Anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, personality disorders, eating disorders and organic brain disorders can cause misery, tears and missed opportunities for thousands of Canadians.

Words can hurt

Words like "crazy," "cuckoo," "psycho," "wacko" and "nutso" are just a few examples of words that keep the stigma of mental illness alive. These words belittle and offend people with mental health problems. Many of us use them without intending any harm. Just as we wouldn't mock someone for having a physical illness like cancer or heart disease, it is cruel to make fun of someone with a mental illness.

Stay Strong

I know it's not easy when life takes away
All the things that you've learned and the things that you know
To replace them with heartache and pain and sorrow

I know all too well how easy it is to give up the fight
When the downs take hold with no end in sight
And the pain will go on through the night til' tomorrow

But soon things will change, the ups will return
You'll rearrange very fast when you learn
The smiles remind you that good times always do follow 


-Kirsty Richards

Imagine Run 2011

Imagine a world where we could personally talk about schizophrenia, depression, addictions, suicide or phobias in an atmosphere as relaxed as talking about hip-replacements or tennis elbow. It's important to get the topics out of the closet because Mental Health really Matters!

Imagine is a group of caring individuals who are committed to raising public awareness and removing the stigma that surrounds mental health issues & suicide.


On September 24, 2011 we will be holding the 4th annual 2011 Imagine Run. The event consists of a half marathon, 10K run/walk and this year we have added a 5K run/walk. The run takes place in Hespler Park, Niverville. 


Join us for Family Fun Day/Bands on Route/Park, Balloonist, Petting Zoo, BBQ, Party Bouncers & Children's Games.

To Register or for more information visit www.imaginementalhealth.com

Your Questions on Depression Answered

This article features commonly asked questions on Depression and how you can overcome it.


I think I'm depressed, where can I get help?
Talk to your primary or family physician. He or she will be able to review the signs and symptoms of depression with you, as well as rule out a possible physical cause for your symptoms. Following diagnosis, your physician can then initiate antidepressant therapy or refer you to a psychiatrist and/or threrapist or an EAP (employee assistance program) if you have one, for appropriate evaluation and treatment. Another route is to consult with your clergy, local hospital, community mental health center or telephone hotlines in your area for a referral for an appropriate evaluation.

It seems that more people are depressed nowadays than in the past. Is the rate of depression increasing?
Depression is common. That having been said, it is also important to point out that this is a seemingly simple question that requires a very complicated answer. While research documents an increase in the number of cases of depression reported and the number prescriptions for antidepressants, it is unclear whether this results from either a true increase in depression due to the stresses of modern life or from increased awareness and recognition of depression as a treatable medical illness. In any event, it is clear that major depression is common.

What is the difference between grief and depression?
Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of an important relationship. As human beings, our bonds to each other develop early (virtually at birth), are strong and often influence major decisions in our life. When we lose a significant relationship in our lives, it is natural for us to feel sadness or other depressive symptoms, such as loss of appetite and disturbed sleep. In fact, about 30 percent of people who have lost a significant other will continue to have these symptoms two months after the loss. These symptoms, however, usually lessen within six months.

Although both conditions may have depressed mood, loss of appetite, sleep disturbance and decreased energy, people with depression usually experience a sense of worthlessness, guilt and/or low self-esteem that is not common in normal grief reactions. For some, a grief reaction can develop into a major depression. For example, about 15 percent of grieving individuals will develop major depression after one year of a loss.

When is being depressed a normal reaction and when is it truly major depression?
All of us have days when we feel "depressed." Usually, these feelings are temporary, and we can have a great day tomorrow. Even when we have a bad day, we can still find enjoyment in things. These occasional bad days are part of life and not depression. Remember, a diagnosis of depression requires that you have these symptoms every day, or nearly every day, for a period of two weeks.

Sometimes, these feelings may persist for several days or even a week. This is common following the break-up of a relationship or other unpleasant event. Still, while you may have some of the symptoms of depression, it is unlikely that you have major depression unless a number of the symptoms are present and impair daily functioning. Even if you do not have major depression, you may have an adjustment disorder that would benefit from professional help. A trained professional can differentiate between a period of the blues and clinical depression.

How do most people react when they are diagnosed with depression?
For some people, a definitive diagnosis is a relief: "At last I know what I have," is their reaction, even if it comes months or years after the onset of symptoms. For others, however, the diagnosis comes as a terrible shock. Many people are ashamed of having a mental illness. Both reactions are quite normal.

Even when a definitive diagnosis is made and accepted, there may be additional concerns about the unknowns of the disorder: its course and outcome, worries about work, effects on family and frustrations about physical and emotional limitations. It is not unusual for these concerns to be expressed as anger, which may further deepen the depression. What is important is to know that depression is treatable and carries a good prognosis. Whatever your reaction, you are not alone, as depression is a common and very treatable problem.

What can I expect regarding other people's reaction?
A person suffering from fatigue and weakness, two symptoms of depression that can occur without obvious signs of physical disability, may look fine. Family members and friends may unsuspectingly expect more from the depressed person than he/she is capable of doing. Those symptoms may, then, be seen as character defects. Fatigue, for example, is frequently interpreted as laziness, or lack of initiative; depressed mood is sometimes seen as self-pity. These reactions may lead patients to begin to doubt their own self-worth. It is important to discuss this issue with your therapist and identify ways of handling this. It is important to remember that millions of people are disabled from a chronic injury or disorder and are living life to the fullest if they get proper treatment.

Visit www.imaginementalhealth.com for more resources and information on mental health disorders

Exercise & Depression

Time and time again we hear about the importance of regular exercise for our bodies. But not only does such exercise help our bodies — it does wonders for our minds as well. The latest finding comes from two researchers who found that simple exercise can be helpful with some people’s depressive mood:

The researchers based their finding on an analysis of dozens of population-based studies, clinical studies and meta-analytic reviews related to exercise and mental health, including the authors’ meta-analysis of exercise interventions for mental health and studies on reducing anxiety sensitivity with exercise.

The researchers’ review demonstrated the efficacy of exercise programs in reducing depression and anxiety.

And this is good news, since not everyone can afford psychotherapy or medications, and most people who have depression never seek out treatment for it anyways. If they do, it’s most often through their primary care physician, and they are most often just prescribed an antidepressant and then call it a day.

Exercise is easy and free. Take a walk around your neighborhood every day. Ride a bike. Jog around the park or around the town. Do a few dozen push-ups and/or sit-ups in your apartment. You can’t beat it for the convenience factor, the price, and the ease of actual doing factor.

Research shows it works — something about exercise seems to help us out of the depressive mood that infiltrates our brains. Exercise appears to affect, like an antidepressant, particular neurotransmitter systems in the brain, and it helps patients with depression re-establish positive behaviors. For patients with anxiety disorders, exercise reduces their fears of fear and related bodily sensations such as a racing heart and rapid breathing.

Something to think about next time you forgo the walk outside, the playing ball with your friends or children, or don’t feel like getting off the couch. Our minds and bodies — they are the same and work together in conjunction with one another.

Source: Psych Central